According to John Gray.
Falling in love is always
magical. It feels eternal, as if love will last forever. We naively believe
that somehow we are exempt from the problems our parents had, free from the
odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that we are
destined to live happily ever after.
But as the magic recedes and
daily life takes over, it emerges that men continue to expect women to think
and react like men, and women expect men to feel and behave like women. Without
a clear awareness of our differences, we do not take the time to understand and
respect each other. We become demanding, resentful, judgmental, and intolerant.
With the best and most loving
intentions love continues to die. Somehow the problems creep in. The resentments
build. Communication breaks down. Mistrust increases. Rejection and repression
result. The magic of love is lost. We ask ourselves:
How does it happen?
Why does it happen?
Why does it happen to us?
To answer these questions our
greatest minds have developed brilliant and complex philosophical and
psychological models. Yet still the old patterns return. Love dies. It happens
to almost everyone.Each day millions of individuals are searching for a partner
to experience that special loving feeling. Each year, millions of couples join
together in love and then painfully separate because they have lost that loving
feeling. From those who are able to sustain love long enough to get married,
only 50 percent stay married. Out of those who stay together, possibly another
50 percent are not fulfilled. They stay together out of loyalty and obligation
or from the fear of starting over.
Very few people, indeed, are
able to grow in love. Yet, it does happen. When men and women are able to
respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.
Through understanding the
hidden differences of the opposite sex we can more successfully give and
receive the love that is in our hearts. By validating and accepting our
differences, creative solutions can be discovered whereby we can succeed in
getting what we want. And, more important, we can learn how to best love and
support the people we care about.
Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences.
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